Michael Kane

So what are Google Blowers? It’s simple really, google blowers are Google fan boys and girls that suck off google for better rankings. So called WhiteHat SEO’s that read the google manual while on the shitter. Yes, Google Blowers are people we know in every day life that use terms such as, “I googled this and that”, “Google it” and such bull crap. Do you have any idea how fucked up Google Search Results really are? Like do you have any idea what so ever? You probably don’t even fucking know how Google works. Ok, that’s fair enough, let me explain how this pos search engine works to you google blowers, and the rest of you none google blowers, it’s simple.

First, bob sits on his PC, yes Google is so gay they still use PC, but that’s besides the point, so Bob sits down and starts using Yahoo and other well known search engines to note the top search results for certain keywords then passes the results onto Bill.

Bill sifts through the sites and awards them a green bar, scaled 1 to 10 on the colors it uses and how many typos the site consists of, Bill is gay, so the more reds, yellows, and greens you clash, the more likely he is to award you a higher ranked green bar! When he’s done he passes that shit onto Matt.

Matt the evil cyborg goes through these sites, he’s super gay so if he doesn’t like your websites colors he’ll just ban the shit out of you, if you use a word more than twice on the same page, which pretty much means even I am fucked there, he bans the shit out of you. If you tell you friend to link to you, and you link to your friend back, because your such great friends, matt the evil cyborg breaks your friendship up, by banning the shit out of both of you. Anyway, when Matt is done banning half the decent sites because of his lack of color coordination and grammar skills, he passes the shit sites that are left to Raja.

Raja is an indian Google outsources a lot of their shit work to. He calls up the owners of these sites and goes (in a very indian like accent) “Hello sir, I am Raja and I work for the big G, I like big butts and fried rice with curry, I will offer this once and once only, buy adwords or I shit in your face and ban your shit from our shit?” If you fall for this and buy adwords, Raja leaves your site alone, if you hang up or call him a prick, paki (which he’s not) or indian shit hole, he will indeed shit in your face, and ban the shit out of you. Which is sad, I mean imagine getting pwnd by an Indian curry eating dude named Raja who works for the ‘Big G’. So when he’s done shitting curry scented pellets over you he passes what’s left of the crap sites onto the final obstacle, the man of the hour, the one who decided where the remaining shit sites rank and how they rank. Baboon.

Yes, it is he who can’t talk and runs around butt naked with a red ass that decides where you, the hard working web individual ranks. You can pretty much guess how Baboon picks who ranks where right, simply shoves his finger up his arse hole and points?

Anyway, that’s how Google ranks your site, it’s all true, I never Lie, ever. Ok so don’t get me wrong, i don’t hate Google, not at all, just having a little fun really but isnt it true? Googles rankings have gone to the shitter lately? I don’t know if someone added some shit to their algo but boy are the search results full of crap these days. So sad, but hey, at least we see the funny side to it all! Baboon or no baboon, Google has earned this entire blog post dedication, like 5minutes of my time, more so than what most people get today. From me to the big G, thanks for making my life so fucking amusing. Can you say link bait aha ha ha h…a?

That’s right boys and girls, time to get down and dirty. I’m going to introduce you all to the Whale Sperm theory! Now, it’s all about BlackHat SEO so don’t get all confused and scared off by the title, read on, this is tres educational. Ok, so how can whale sperm, of all sperm on earth be remotely related to SEO, here’s your answer; It’s fucking not, it’s related to BlackHat sperm. Sort of. It’s actually related to link bait, and all things BlackHat, controversy, mixing it up, ranking for things you should not rank for, scraping traffic.

They say artists are insane, they say inventors have to be mad to come up with the things they do, I say BlackHat SEOs have to be equally as insane, and equally as mad to come up with this shit. Blackhatters would do just about anything to rank, just not hack. That’s right, they’ll talk about Whale Sperm, whale sex, maybe even whale vagina’s and whale titties but hacking they wont do. It’s all about ethics, we have some left you know?

So BlackHat SEO is all about creativity, doing things you’re sure other people wont even think of. Did you know whale sperm is used for some shampoo products? No? Who knows, you could be covering yourself in whale sperm everyday without knowing it, your hubby could be smelling your hair, going, aww smells so good, and in truth its the same as shoving whale penis up his nose and him enjoying it. Which brings me to my next question, do whales have a penis anyway? I didn’t think so, who knows.

Ok so enough with the whale sperm shit, this was just a simple example of how to (or better yet how not to) rank for not so competitive keywords. Theres a smart way and a stupid way, this is an easy stupid way, like why on earth would i want my blog to rank for whale sperm you know? Oh well, the things we do for education, the sacrifices we make, it’s all good though.

Drinks consumed at the time of creating this post : 4 beers, 3 glasses of red wine and a shot of wild turkey plus lack of sleep, so forgive me Buddha, for I have failed you!.

Matthew Buchanan has come up with the most amazing simple yet clever little snippet of javascript that would remove one CSS rule every tenth of a second. you have to check this  really cool video of a page being “built” one CSS rule at a time, basically how a page comes to life, how it’s created. this was simply amazing, a really cool idea ! Had to post this!

Everyone knows the basics of Search Engine Optimization (SEO) and how to market a website, but do you know enough to make a decent living off it? Things such as original content, well designed/coded websites and strong authority backlinks are things we all know about, but at www.shoutingzone.com the blackhat forum there contains things you have probably never heard about, like some amazing traffic boosting tips, marketing tricks and so much more!

The great thing about this blackhat seo site is that it combines all aspects of webmastering, from marketing to seo to design, coding and even domaining.  For a free forum it’s jam packed with real seo information! Unlike other well known webmaster and blackhat forums, ShoutingZone prides on the quality of it’s content and the accuracy of the information posted, which makes it one of the coolest places to learn about SEO, Design, Programming, domains and even how to market your website online! Go register now!

This was amazing! Watshit wrote an article about Real Estate Virtual Assistant scams and it seems to have taken off, it’s been blogged about on over 50 blogs since a few hours ago, and it’s only spreading faster. Not only has watshit and inLip picked up on it (Real Estate Virtual Assistant Scam Snippet here too) and it has even reaches TX and Detroit, MI info blogs!

This could be a few bad apples emailing watshit about the accusations, but until proven innocent online, YOU ARE GUILTY. There’s no room for error online because being scammed online is bad news, you can kiss your money good by if that does happen to you.

Kim Hughes will soon realize what has been released and we’re only hoping she can clear her name, otherwise, this will turn into a snowball effect type thing, and her business (scam service?) will be turned inside out.

- Jason

It was great to see a lot of you guys at the fight a while back, meant a lot to me, thanks for the friendly emails I received a few days after. 2 rounds and he was out cold, I was surprised myself to say the least. Anyway I’m traveling again so I’ll catch you guys when I can, you know how to get ahold of me if you need me, YIM or email!

Till the fight and i’m really feeling the pressure. I twisted my ankle today so who knows, if I blog tomorrow and the day after that means I missed the fight, if I vanish again, either I got hit by a drunk driver again or went and got my ass kicked Wish me luck.

You’d think I dropped off the face of the earth, you’d be partially right. After a few weeks training extra hard, and then a couple rounds with that Yugoslavian brick wall of a boxer Strahinia I took a few weeks off. Sure I won the fight in round 4 but man was it tough. For a middle weight he sure landed rock solid jabs and hooks, he was slow and I guess I figured that out in the second round when he started letting his guard down due to fatigue.

So again, i’m slightly back, I have another fight next week but i’m fairly confident i’ll win, never the less i’ll need to workout so, i’ll vanish for a while again and keep you posted. For those who want to come and watch the fight email me and i’ll send you tickets.

mikekannne@yahoo.com

Ok, so from Detroit, all the way to NYC, then down to Miami, only to wait about 14 hours before jumping on plane to California for a business meeting in each city, if that was not enough, all that in less than 5 days. That’s what I call one hell of a fucking orgy. Sleep deprived, no fucking chance, i’m beyond just being a little sleep deprived. I’m so sleep deprived my butt hole puckers up at the thought of closing my eyes, because I know, the second I do, someone is going to shove a royal chopstick up my asshole and tell me there’s another meeting half way across the fucking globe.

Anyway, so its not all bad, I like hotels, actually no i don’t, I like the room service though, a little, except calling room service can get addictive. Ever tried making an emergency call to room service to bring you a fresh new towel up immediately only to open the rooms door butt naked to say ‘thanks, I was worried i’d catch a chill’ ? No? Try it, reaction you’ll get is priceless, especially if out of shock they drop the towel only to bend over and pick it up, and as they stand back up straight they realize their head is too close for comfort, the view, the smell (if you hold off taking that shower) would just add to that reaction. *sigh*

What else? The food is fine. Chinese, Japanese, Korean and some Italian, you can’ go wrong as long as you stay away from anything Indian, curry, woohoooo. Fire in the hole!!. Indians…curry, rice…that reminds me of this: http://youtube.com/watch?v=95xw65uikXg *smirk*

Will honestly only succeed in pissing me off. So what’s this all about, I’ll tell you. I’m not going to spend much time doing so either as I have better things to do. Someone took a shot at spamming my personal site, now any other site of mine with PR, or traffic and such I would actually accept and consider silly spam, but here? no thank you.

So to all spammers, stay the fuck away.

Recent spammer Info:

IP address: 71.206.242.241

Home adress: 69 midway dr, mckees rocks, PA 15136

Don’t make me add a Home Phone number? You know how fast those things spread on porn sites, you’ll be getting 500 thousand calls a day, would suck don’t you think?

Be nice, don’t spam, because spam kills.