Michael Kane

This made me blog twice within an hour! Insane right? Then again this is my day off so whatever. I was listening to stuff off my iTouch (i fixed it yes yes) and a song started playing, god knows who had put it on there, probably Summer or one of the girls. ManEater!! Don’t ask, reminded me of a friend I know online, Nat, hahaha Insane right? She’s more a MeatEater actually but here you go Nat, prob know this song but I felt like adding it here. I’ll make a quick graphic before I add it, too!

What a great question! Not really. Ok so a friend of mine has sent in a question asking where on earth he should take a girl out on a first date…so this is what he had to say:

For now, i’ll type out my reply as I’m not in the mood to record this answer in particular heh.First of all, taking a girl out for Chinese can be really romantic, and fun! Especially if you pretend to not know how to use chopsticks, have her teach you or vice versa and so forth. That’s all great, but a 5 quid all you can eat Chinese restaurants? That’s like $10!!! Are you trying to food poison her Chris? Jesus.

Anyway, about the whole Pub outing and such, that’s ok too, but on a first date it’s always good to go out somewhere public, even though the Pub is a public place for a gathering and such, it’s usually best to stay away from them on a first date. Most girls can be intimidated by the whole Pub, beer drinking, loud noise scene, at least the ones you want to hang out with should be!

Ride in a bus? Say what?? You got on a bus, and just had it ride you around? On a first date? Chris, I don’t know if that’s a ‘thing’ now in the UK, it’s been a while since I last visited, but here in Detroit mate, you try and use public transportation as a last resort to simply get from point A to point B, let alone to use for a fucking date. Bloody hell, she’d probably get raped, not to mention that you would probably get raped after her also here for that! No, no buses Chris!

My advice would be, see what she likes. Ask her about what her fav food is, for all you know she might hate Chinese! Does she drink and smoke? She might have recently quit smoking, taking her a bar will be a sure way to kiss any action you’re hoping to see good bye! If all else fails ask her where she wants to go, have her pick a place, no shame in giving her the option to choose! Just shows her you care, and Chris, ‘action’ or ’sex’ on a first date is never a smart idea, unless that’s all you’re after, in which case I would suggest you find yourself a prostitute

Be safe, and always use protection! Aids sucks big time!

Yes well, I don’t get it?!

See I was thinking of adding some recordings on here, of people asking me things and me having to answer them and ‘try’ to be funny and make everyones day a little lighter, funner, whatever the hell you want to call it. But people are dumb.
I mean yes they are all my friends, but you can not believe how dumb people can be, and just when you think you know someone, they go ahead and do something that blows your mind away. So what the hell am I talking about?

Phone books.

I know just hang in there, you’ll get it soon. So I told a few friends (those I could stand to hear talk if you know what i mean) to send me some questions. I had plenty of stuff sent to me before but nothing I could actually add on my personal blog. So the recordings started coming in from all over the world, pretty much. Uk, here in the states, Germany, kiwi country, hell I think I got one from china or india or something, i still have to get it translated so I can answer it, point is I got tons. You know what? Only a handful were half decent.

But what does ‘phone book’ have to do with anything? I know i’ll get to that later, read on. SO with all these new recordings I went onto replying to each in my own spare time, which wasn’t very often but I got through like, 3 recordings the first week out of like, 180. Yes, I know, they’re well over 400 recordings now and i’m still at like 22. So I will start adding them from now on, actually like, after this blog post, I still have to figure out the best way of adding the question and answer on here, (if anyone has an idea about the best way let me know btw. ) I hope that by the time i’m at 400 all you idiots (my beloved friends) would have realized how pointless it is asking me anything, due to the replies you will be getting. I mean seriously, how the hell should I know what your mother thinks of your Italian boy friend who happens to enjoy playing squash while listening to the spice girls….That is not made up, i will prove it in my later blogs, these people don’t even laugh when they ask this shit. It’s as if they are serious.

So yeah, this is just an intro to what is to come right after this blog post, if you have landed on this blog, and I don’t know you, and you believe you are somewhat sane and have something useful to ask, or not, then feel free to send it me. Who knows, i mean I listen to all just take time to reply (hint hint: i pick the funny/interesting sometimes short questions to answer first) . Send anything you want to send to mike[at]michael-kane[dot]com and by that i mean recordings of things you want to ask, not armature porn pictures of yourselves (guys and girls)

Honestly, please don’t vote for Ron Paul, just don’t ok? Thanks.

I’m also thinking of adding 2 versions of all these blog posts, like a recording and a text version, for the blind people reading this blog, well not actually reading it, but the ones that may end up on my site…umm…yeah, ok .

Every once in a while I think of something that I want to put out there into the universe, wait, is it ‘out there’ or ‘out here’…never mind. In the past I would post it on one of the forums that I was a part of or owned, yes i was a forum posting whore, but over the years I’ve pretty much drifted away from all the online forum community bizshit and so forth (pretty much as in I post on a couple forums still but only because I’m forced to…in one case I actually like some of the people there, weird right?) I almost find it painful to post on forums now, after what? 2 years of developing my own open-source web discussion forum (that i never released) and creating dozens of unique themes and building my online forum rep as well as setting up over 12 different forums with a combined member count of almost 480,000 (about, i had to go add them up roughly rounding down even)…sad, actually no, it’s ironic, but that’s just the way the cookie crumbled. At least I have a pretty big contact list aye…heh

At that point I was pretty much into blogging, then I started setting up blogs where some of my old forums used to be (upsetting thousands of people as you can imagine in the process - they still love me really) and just got into blogging. It was simpler, not as time consuming and most of them made me my fair share of $$$…actually all of them made me money one way or another, because I’m just that good. *smirk*

Then after a few years of blogging, I got bored, I started setting up almost 4-8 blogs a day and having people do the blogging on them for me sometimes, I got sloppy, then realized, I didnt need them anymore. At one point I wanted them set up so that they would work as a sort of extra-income funnel, most were making around $300 a day on average on sales/adsense combined, but when my other projects picked up pace, all the blogs seemed a lesser priority…that makes sense right? Yeah, sure it does.

So with that came my painful decision, cut back on blogging to make money, truth was I didn’t need to make money from my blogs anymore. (some of you will be like - wtf dude, extra money is always good money, but no, not true.) See it was eating up a lot of my time, and as many of you bloggers know, there’s nothing as worthless as a dead blog, google hates them, people hate them, hell I’m sure Jesus hates them (heh).

I tried blogging for fun with people but it just wasn’t fun, they were lame, blogging about really lame shit, being, pretty much just lame. So, a few years later here I am, I decided to set up my own site, to blog about whatever I want and not worry about what anyone had to say. Here is where I can be as lame as I fucking want, a place where I could just be me, not too much to ask for right?

My first blog post on my personal site, oh dear. This will be a strictly off topic blog, one that is about everything and anything. I will usually answer my friends odd questions, blog about something interesting, or not, and probably most definitely end up contradicting myself on here a lot. This is just a place I’ll come to when I have nothing better to do. Sounds fun right? Of course.

Please, if you do know me, or happen to find this site while searching for me, I am not interested in what you’re selling, or packing, or offering to do. I am single, wish to remain so for a while, I will not pay for your tuition fees and I will certainly not design your grandmothers’ website. Now I do not care if you’re broke, or 16, or really hot, this blog is simply a way to get away from it all.

Please, if you feel the urge to write my name on your boobies, or asses, and so forth, stop sending me pictures via email, I am tired of it, it’s not fun or flattering, especially when you’re a 300pouind hairy gorilla names Laura Sanchez. I am not racist but if you’re Porto Rican chances are I already dislike you, so fuck off.

I am into politics, although I tend to remain neutral when in a heated debate, I’ll just add one thing to this that would be that Democrats are dykes. Yes, it’s true.

That will be all, just something to start this thing off, my name is Michael Kane, and this is my personal rant blog, don’t like me? Great!